it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
