Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
only if we run a train.
done.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
