That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
