Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
