Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You have to summon your inner elephant
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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