I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
