I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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