Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
