It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
