We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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