you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
