White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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