My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
