Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
