"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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