Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You may now shotgun with the bride
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
