I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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