Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
