found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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