I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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