He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
