I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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