remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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