Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
