Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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