I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
