I just cut my nipple shaving
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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