Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
