i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
