Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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