ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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