She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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