i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
