none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
