I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
