whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
