So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I will die if light touches me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
