when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
