Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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