Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
