Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
