I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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