Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
