haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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