First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
