You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
