hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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