exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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