He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
