Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
