So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
