i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
