please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
being pregnant is like rehab
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
