I want to stick my p in your. b.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
