So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
