a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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