im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
