Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
